boy of the house at about 11 months of age. In some ways
it seems like yesterday. He's now at school.
I haven't felt like blogging for a while. Some of that has been because I've been busy - in a good way.
Work has been flat out, I've been to Sydney twice in 2 weeks, and we've had lots of catch ups with
friends at the old girl which has been lovely.
I've been a bit sad though too. The cause of my sadness is something that may be hard to understand for a lot of people. The boy of the house is an only child - not by choice, but that's what happens when you leave it until your later thirties to have a baby. I know we were very lucky to have him, when so many people are not able to have children at all. While I had a lot of sadness a few years ago when we were in the thick of trying hard to have another baby - with the emotional roller coaster that comes with assisted fertility - in more recent times I had come to accept, happily, that our little family was complete.
So I wasn't prepared this week for the emotional outpouring from the boy of the house.
He's not been himself these past 2 or 3 weeks, and it all came out on Sunday night when I was tucking him in to bed. He spontaneously started crying and asked me why he didn't have any brothers and sisters, how sad he was that it was just the three of us, and why couldn't it be different. "Friends are great mum, but a brother or sister is what I really want". The conversation went on for a long time, and it transpired that he has been sad about this for a long time and has been bottling it up. He is one of only two only-children at his school, and I hadn't realised how perceptive he was about the situation. Never under-estimate your children.
Of course in the grand scheme of things, we are such a lucky family, all living safely and healthily. On a daily basis at work I see children who are coping with acute or chronic illness, and am reminded constantly that good health and a loving family - whatever its size or composition - should never be taken for granted. However I think the thing that is making me especially sad about this is that it is a terrible thing to see your child so sad about something that no one - especially me - has the power to do any thing about. This is one thing I can't make better for him. I'm all for promoting resilience in our children, but he can't change this situation by working harder at something, or by applying himself more.
I am sure we will navigate this sadness, the boy of the house and I. In the meantime I've got plenty of house related things I can post about...... in due course.
